Sunday, October 19, 2014

The Balancing Act After “I Do”




My little sister got married this past weekend and at the ceremony, the pastor said marriage does not come with an instructor’s manual.  How easy would that be?  I think we would all be racing to the stores to buy this more than the latest iPhone!   The reasoning behind not having an instructor’s manual, is because every marriage is different.  Each individual person comes to the table with their own gifts and struggles.  Marriage is a beautiful partnership but the thing that many people miss is that it is indeed work. 

We grow up thinking of the big, white wedding dress and the prince coming in on his horse and riding off into the sunset.  In order to make this fairy tale a reality, it takes work getting to know what your prince likes and dislikes, and also him knowing what you like and dislike.  Sometimes learning this balance and being willing to negotiate or meet in the middle is not what people signed up for.  This may be the reason why half our nation is divorced.

I am a child of divorce so I know a little bit on this subject.  My parents, despite their best efforts could not make their marriage work.  It wasn’t due to a lack of love but just two people traveling on different paths, that didn’t want to meet in the middle. That’s how easy love can get lost.

The best thing you can do in a marriage, whether you are newlyweds, engaged, or have been married half your life already, is entrust your marriage to the Lord.  It is never too late or early to do this.  Prayer is powerful.  In these verses, it describes that the wife is protected by the husband, and the husband is protected by God.    

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” Ephesians 5:22-23.
There is a holy union formed when husband and wife marry.  They are dedicating themselves not only to each other, but also to God.  This should be the first layer of a marriage is God and then each other. 

My husband and I were high school sweethearts who separated during college.  We remained friends but we both knew we were headed in different directions.  It was a few years later, but we reconnected and we were soon married.

After the birth of our second child, I felt called to attend church more and to learn the knowledge of the Word that I had missed as a child.  My husband, who grew up in the church, had this head knowledge so he didn’t feel as called to be there.  This was the hardest year out of our marriage. 

Through entrusting my marriage on the Lord and praying relentlessly for not only our marriage but family, my husband came around to not only wanting to go to church, but he also rededicated his life to the Lord.  He is also now in the process of studying to become a pastor or missionary.  This is something that not even in my wildest dreams I could think of, but this just goes to show you the power or prayer.

No matter what your marriage is going through, keep faith in God. 
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Romans 8:28

What are some things that you do to keep your spouse happy, or things that your spouse does to make you happy?



14 comments:

  1. Love this! Such great advice. My husband and I have been able to get over our biggest hurtles that very easily could have ended our marriage with the help of the lord. It allows us to take our selves out of the picture and focus on what we need to do to bring ourselves closer to him and intern our marriage gets closer. Such a great post!

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    1. Thank you, Kirstie! It is amazing what happens when we turn everything, including our marriages over to the Lord. I am so glad everything worked out in your marriage! Thanks for commenting and have a blessed week :)

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  2. I'm glad you acknowledged the difficulty of having one spouse attending church and pursuing God while the other isn't. I know many people in this situation. Your story is an inspiration not to give up!

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    1. Thank you for the kind words, The Seana Method. It was a difficult time but prayer and trusting in the Lord truly changed both of our hearts and our marriage. Prayers to the ones you may know who are in this situation. Thanks for commenting and have a blessed week :)

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  3. Absolutely! I completely agree that faith in God has everything to do with a successful marriage. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. A very true story! Thanks for commenting, Jen! Have a blessed week :)

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  4. An excellent post! Trust in God makes marriage successful...without it, we will struggle. it is beautiful how marriage actually is a picture of our relationship with God. Thanks for sharing with the Thursday Blog Hop!

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  5. Thank you, Pam! Marriage is a definitely a struggle when we are not relying on the Lord who is the one who chose our spouse for us, and who knows us so infinitely. Thanks for allowing me to share on Thursday Blog Hop and have a blessed week :)

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  6. Marriage definitely requires a lot of work, faith, understanding and love. Lovely post!

    Thanks for partying with us at WUW.

    Party co-host,
    Tanya
    http://tanyaanurag.blogspot.com/

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    1. Hi Tanya! You are correct; marriage does require all of that! Thanks for co-hosting WUW and for commenting! Have a blessed week :)

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  7. Marriage is a huge and serious commitment! The Lord helps our marriages succeed in so many ways; He shows us how to be patient, how to forgive, and how to serve our spouse.

    Submission used to be a sticking point for me but I feel the more mature I get in my faith, the more I understand it and want to submit.

    Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.
    xoxo

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    1. Thanks for hosting the #SHINEbloghop and letting me link up, Jennifer! There's a beauty to the submission and it does take some time to see that part of it. We think that there is a loss in submission, when there is actually just extra love and protection. Thanks for commenting and have a lovely weekend also :)

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  8. Thanks for sharing with #SmallVictoriesSunday linkup! Marriage is constantly changing as the spouses do too. We are certainly not the same people we were when we got married 16 years ago. We've grown together and I am thankful for that, too many people grow apart.

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    1. Hi Tanya and thanks for hosting #SmallVictoriesSunday! It is wonderful to grow together with your spouse and not many people understand this balance in the marriage. Congratulations to you and your husband for 16 years of marriage! Wishing you many, many more happy years and blessings! Thanks for commenting :)

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