Sunday, November 10, 2013

Momma's Hands

For some reason this time of year always makes me think of home, not my home now but where I grew up.  Today I was running hot water over my hands to try to ease the ache they had, and as I stood at the sink looking at my hands, I began to think of my momma's hands.



My fingers are bent and crooked, especially my right  hand.  I was married to a mean, angry man when I was 15.  During his fits of anger and abuse one of the things he would do is break one of my fingers, they've all been broke once or twice, but that was another life time.  All these years later I still feel the pain just like it was yesterday.  As the warm water was running and the ache eased some I remembered how my momma's hands had looked when I was just a child.

A helping hand! Mamaw Used To Reach For My Right Hand When We Were Out Together To Help Her....I Miss You So Much Mamaw !!!
Momma worked hard when we were kids on the farm, just like the men did.  She worked the fields side by side with daddy.  I can see her scrubbing cloths on that old washboard, I hope that old washboard is burning in the pits of hell.  Her fingers would bleed in the cold water of winter, but she never complained.  She'd say "hard work never killed nobody".  She'd put what she called a poltus on them at night and do it all over again in the morning.

I remember when my Grandma had an old wash tub and washboard like this.  It served for their bath tub also.  And this is what I had for a swimming pool in the summer...my Mum's old wash tub!
These tired and bleeding hands were the one's that rocked me gently anytime that I would cry.
They picked me up when I fell down and tried to teach me right.  Momma's hands were my stronghold as I struggled to grow.  Who knew I'd grow and then move on so very far away.
Though knarled and bent from life she never pulled away, she kept her pain and held us tight, how I miss those hands today.  I never knew how momma felt until I had my kids, now the pain of my hands is the pain that must stay hid.  Momma never cried, at least I never saw.  I wonder if she cried alone as I do sometimes late at night, tears that will never see the light.  I understand now why she must have hid her tears, they would've served no purpose for we were only kids.

I wish I could hold her old and fragile hands today and let her know how much I appreciate her strength.  I know she'd never flinch no matter how tight I held on.  If I could hold her hands now I know it would hurt so bad because I I'd never want to let go.  I'd love to tell her, "momma please make the pain go away", because I know she'd hold my hands tightly as she prayed.
The Rosary

Now as I look back on days long gone by, I can see the love in momma's touch in the tenderness of those knarled and bleeding hands.  I'm putting this to paper, through tears, wishing I could once more feel the love of momma's hands.  I wish I could hold her hands, gently as this time I prayed, that God would take her pain away.


Now my kids depend on me and the strength in my two hands.

Angel

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21 comments:

  1. oh...that was beautiful. You are very brave, just like your Momma. Thank you for the inspiration. It has been a long time since I have been "home". I think I will make plans to go see my Mom.

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    1. Thanks so much for visiting with me today. I'm glad you are going to plan a trip home. It's amazing the things that you will remember someday and it just breaks your heart that you can't redo or do it again, does that make any sense?
      Angel

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  2. what a beautiful post. there is definitely something about a mother's hands that tell a story of what they have been through. as i read I thought of my grandmother's hands and the story time has told through them. thanks so much for sharing.

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    1. I'm very glad that you spent some time visiting with me today. I'm glad my post brought back some good memories for you. A mother's touch is an amazing thing.
      Angel

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  3. Your post is so moving., bitter sweet, love and pain. Your strength is inspiring. Thank you.

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    1. Hi Dee,
      I'm so glad to have you visiting with me. Thank you for taking time to read my post. I visited you also and fell in love with your quilts. It looks like you have something beautiful to share with the world too.
      Angel

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  4. Beautifully touching post, Angel. You are strong & brave just like your Mom. Thank you for sharing.
    Hugs,
    Lisa

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    1. Thank you Lisa. I'm so glad that you came by to visit with me today. I'm also very glad that you will be joining me in our CLIMB hop.
      Angel

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  5. I'm happy your bad memories are another life away, and I love your memories about your mom.

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    1. Thank you dear friend. My mothers strength still amazes me after all this time. She was a beautiful soul.
      Angel

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  6. I'm crying along with you - I'm so sorry for the pain that you have gone through.

    My mom's fingers are twisted with arthritis and she is the same - never complains & keeps on working. I talk to my mom everyday but you have inspired me to call her again right now. You are truly an Angel - God bless!

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  7. I'm so sorry that you have endured so much physical and emotional pain. You are strong, like your mother, and your kids would likely say the same thing about you as you say about her. What a touching post. XOXO

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  8. Very touching story… and so true how often Moms hold it together and weep only quietly/invisibly. That's why blog shares are so important - it is connection and support and growth and encouragement. Hope this day is full of blessings for you!

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  9. Thank you for posting. I took a picture holding my mom's hands just before she died. It's on the board above my sewing machine.

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  10. This is such a beautiful post. And mom's are the one's who hold everything together in families.

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  11. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post. We wanted to invite you to share it at our blog link up http://rosevinecottagegirls.blogspot.com/2013/11/link-up-5.html

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  12. I'm crying with you too because your words voice some of my own feelings of late because this was the time of year we found out she had terminal cancer. My Mom had cold hard worked hands.

    You Mom sounds like an amazing woman and one that you are proud to call Mom. Glad you have those special memories and that bond with her.

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  13. Very moving post Angel. It can be easy to forget that others endure as much or more than ourselves.

    One of my favorite quotes is, "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

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  14. Oh my! This was such a touching story! I didn't want the part about you being abused at 15 to be true or your mom having to experience pain even though she never complained about it. Wow! I'm saddened and in awe at the same time. Thank you for sharing such a tender piece of you with us at Countdown in Style. Don't forget to come back on Friday to see if you are featured! xoxo

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  15. Beautiful post Angel.
    Thank you for being our final hostess for Raising Imperfection :)

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    http://raising-reagan.com

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  16. That was lovely. You can really feel the love that you have for your mother in post. There comes a time that we become our mothers and this is it.

    Thanks for sharing and linking up with Countdown in Style! Don't forget to come back on Friday to see if you were featured!

    ~~April~~
    100lbCountdown.com

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