Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Tell Her She Is Pretty

Can you imagine how you would feel if your mom or dad had never told you how beautiful you are? "Tell her she is pretty" blog post via Spit and Sparkles Blog #beauty #loveyourself #confidence #daughter


Hi everyone! It's great to be back with you at Sew Crafty Angel.

I recently wrote a blog post about letting my son like the color pink and letting him play with girl toys. He's 1.5 years old, so I tell the naysayers to GET OVER IT! I'm also telling the so-called "parenting experts" the same when it comes to telling my daughter that she is pretty.

Experts say that we as parents should compliment our children on their abilities and NOT on their appearances, but I disagree. An article in The Daily Telegraph says that if we compliment our children on looking pretty that we'll be sending a message that looks are more important; and in turn, this sets them up for body confidence issues in the future. But if we don't tell them that they are beautiful or handsome, doesn't that do the same? Can you imagine how you would feel if your mom or dad had never told you how beautiful you are?

Can you imagine how you would feel if your mom or dad had never told you how beautiful you are? "Tell her she is pretty" blog post via Spit and Sparkles Blog #beauty #loveyourself #confidence #daughter

Beauty goes deeper than just your outer appearance. That is the message we should be teaching. But let's face it, looks do matter. Our outer appearances are the first impression any stranger gets. They see us first, then get to know us later. So having confidence in our appearance does matter. Yes, it matters more to have confidence in all of your abilities, and I think that is what the "experts" are trying to get it. But that doesn't mean that we should stop saying, "you look beautiful" to our daughters.

So, while I'll tell my daughter how beautiful she is, (because she is!) I'll also tell her that I appreciate her kindness when she shares or does something thoughtful or selfless for someone else. I'll praise her creativity and ability to follow directions, and I'll compliment her dedication and determination when she brings home an all A's report card.

Be well-rounded in your compliments of your children, is what the "experts" should have said. And I will add to that. Be unafraid to tell your sons how beautiful they are too. The word beautiful is not just meant for girls, and I, for one, think that I have an amazingly beautiful daughter and son!

Can you imagine how you would feel if your mom or dad had never told you how beautiful you are? "Tell her she is pretty" blog post via Spit and Sparkles Blog #beauty #loveyourself #confidence #daughter

There is however, one piece of advice that I do agree with on this subject of body confidence. Parents, especially moms, should be careful of how we talk about our own bodies in front of our children. I don't think I know one single person who doesn't dislike a part of their body or wishes they weighed about five pounds less. We should keep those opinions to ourselves in front of our children. I know I wish that I didn't have bony arms and elbows or a few pounds left in the middle from pregnancy. But in front of my children, (yes even at 1.5 because they repeat EVERYTHING) I won't put myself down. I will compliment myself in front of them on the things that I do like about my appearance.

Will you share your amazingly beautiful children with all of us? Please feel free to leave a comment below sharing something that you complimented your child for recently.

11 comments:

  1. When my daughter asked me how she looked wearing her new glasses I told her that she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen and there's nothing more beautiful I'd ever see again. Lol. I laugh at how cheesy it sounds now, but she smiled from ear to ear. Kids need that sort of validation. I don't care what anyone says. Great post!

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    1. I agree Kate! Children aim to please, so we should oblige and tell them how pretty they are, especially when they ask! :)

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  2. I always tell my children that they are beautiful and I will never stop. I also tell them how smart, kind and downright awesome they are! We should build our children up in every way!

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    1. Couldn't agree more on building them up in every way possible. Thanks for the comment!

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  3. Love this blog post! I don't have any children yet, but I know we are going to (actively) start trying in my later 20's. I think this post is a great word of advice to parents, and I will definitely try to instill these principles into myself when I have children. Found your blog on the Weekday Mixer link up! Would love it if you checked out my blog too :D

    www.myfairdaily.com

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    1. Hi Kaelyn! Thanks for visiting Sew Crafty Angel and Spit and Sparkles, and for your sweet comments. Best of luck to you when you begin trying to conceive!

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  4. I agree with you 100% on all of it! :) I will tell my children how beautiful they are till the day I die!

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    1. I honestly believe that not telling them will do more damage. I want my admiration for my children to be one of their best memories, always.

      Thanks for visiting me at Sew Crafty Angel! I hope that you had a chance to check her amazingly beautiful little one while you were here. What a doll! :)

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  5. I couldn´t agree more to anything either. I´m a grandmother now, but I recognize several of the issues you mentioned above too. When my kids were small, I had one son, who only wished for a pair of deepred wodden glogs and a red wodden dollcarriage for christmas, and fguess what, he got it, even my MIL was chocked and kept telling me, I turned him into the girl I obviously had wanted him to be, but giuess what, he´s completely well functioning and handsome young man today, And I also had my own saying made up back then, after my youngest son always showed asuch a low selfestime, I kept telling him, that ofcause he could do anything he wanted to, cause if anybody else could learn it, then my kids could too, and even better, cause they wasn´t their mums kids for nothing, and again my MIL kept telling me, I was making my kids very badly selfish and unplesant to be around, but guess what, today they´re all really well functioning and in good jobs and the one who had the very low selfestime started his own compagny in an age of 19 and have run it now for almost 13 years, so I´ll sign for anytime, that it works to tell your kids how beautiful and clever they are. I see it as a big crime not to, cause if we don´t believe in them, then who will? And least of all them self, so keep on, tell your kids how awesome they are both in their look AND in their skills too. Kids are not stupid, they can handle it and it do mean the world to them, that they can count on us no matter what. And I can´t help it but feel proud every time I today still hear one of my kids say ofcause I can do it, I´m not my mums son for nothing right? Yesterday my youngestson got his first kid, and we ofcause all were in total awe about this little new baby and I said oh my god he´s sooo beautiful, and my son just said right away, of cause he is, he´s not his fathers son for nothing, and he´s just as beautiful as his dad is. It sure put a smile on my face, cause I know, it´ll be brought on the next generation there too now, so my mission has been completed now.
    Have a wonderful day out there everyone, and go and tell your kids both young and big how beautiful and awesome they are, cause it sure does matter, and more than anyone can think of.

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  6. I tell my children that they are beautiful inside and out. If we as parents don't do it, who will? I don't pay attention to what I say about my body but maybe I should? Yet, is there something to commenting so they don't end up in the place we are, especially when we're obese?

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  7. Wise words & an excellent post!
    Thanks
    Angie

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