Monday, January 27, 2014

Scars on Your Soul


Scars tell a story about who you are and the life you've led.


I've got this cute little scar on my knee from a fall as a child.  
I bled heavily and the pain was intense at the time.  It's so strange to look at it today, 53 years later, and it's just a cute little scar, no pain, just a memory of a moment in time long ago.

It's amazing how so many things in our lives leave a scar, not all of them "a cute little scar".
What about you, do you have any scars?

My knee is the least of the scars that is/was my life.  I left home at the age of 15 and married a abusive drug addict, that left a huge scar on my soul.  Every blow from his angry hand, the beating and miscarriage of my Rachael, every foul name he called me, every finger he would break when I didn't obey, all scars branded on my heart and soul.  All terrible, painful memories, wounds that still open up and bleed sometimes, pain that is still fresh as the day they occurred.  Sometimes I can still feel the sting of the hand on my cheek, I find myself holding my cheek as I recall that huge, angry hand coming at me.  Tears stain my cheeks now as I recall those times.  These are my hands, fingers that are still bent and painful.  Bones never reset, now even more painful as they age.  A hand that won't lay flat and fingers that will never be straight and pain-free.  A life-long reminder of pains suffered at the hands of another.


I've trusted people that have let me down time and again.  Have you?  Should we have learned not to trust as scars have piled up over the years.  Boss's that you've trusted to give you credit for jobs well done and then they take the credit and get the promotions, friends that you've rushed to help when they were in need and when you were in need they looked the other way, secrets you've trusted to your closest friend that was told to others, loves that broke your heart by lying or cheating on you, all these scars like the lash of a whip across your heart and soul.  Do you know these types of scars too?  Do you still feel the pain?  Is your heart heavy with memories similar to mine?  Does your mind remember every single little sting inflicted upon you in your entire life!
Do you often replay that terrible moment when the pain was at it's peak?
 


Some wounds heal, like my knee, and are just scars that we remember as we think about the past and the things we've done and things that have happened to us.  Other wounds never seem heal because the wound is so deep and the bleeding so tremendous, forever to remain a huge, gaping hole.

Do YOU keep making your old wounds bleed by not letting the pain of the past go? Do you pick at the wound in your soul until it starts bleeding again?


Scars should remind you of where you've been but they shouldn't dictate where you are going. Scars don't always have to be reminders of the pain we've suffered, they can be reminders of how strong we were to survive.  Every cruel intention done to you can help you find your independence. Even Jesus had scars but it didn't stop Him from going on to save the world.
     
 Angel

 

33 comments:

  1. You have just described part of my life in full, My Dear and you could not have put it more beautifully. {{{hugz}}}
    I survived Domestic Abuse, I lost my children because of lies my mother told them about me. Telling them that I did not want them and that I had abandoned them when all I did was sneak out of the house at 4 a.m. to prevent a nasty fight with my mother and father as I was going to another state with the help of a friend (who I ended up marrying) to get the physical, psychiatric, and spiritual care my parents neglected to give me and it has taken my doctors 10 years of sorting out the physical messes to discover that I actually have had Fibromyalgia and Ankylosing Spondylitis all this time with no treatment and yes, I have felt all the physical scars as well as emotional, and mental scars.

    But I have chosen to rise above my circumstances and to become a stronger better person with God's help. People all tell me that I am strong and a beautiful person for all I have gone through. But I gently remind them that it is not me that you are seeing, it is God that you are seeing.

    This is only a tiny portion of what I have been through.

    I still trust people but I make sure of them before I do and God is helping me in this area.

    I want to thank you for sharing this today, hun. It has touched my soul and has made me realize that I am not alone with my scars. Like you, I think scars are beautiful.

    To me, you are the most gorgeous woman I know next to Angie.

    If I have learned one thing it is this, "Everyone has a blank book when they start life and how they fill the pages is up to them. Do what you can to write the most moving beautiful story ever with the help of the strongest man around, God. " ~Karen M. Roth.a.k.a. Masquerading Crafter

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  2. Wow this is so true! Our scars does not have to dictate our future! You are a very strong woman, thank you for sharing your story with us.

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  3. Lovely post. xx

    Louisa @ My Family & Abruzzo

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  4. More things we have in common my friend. Happily we both escaped and do not let our scars define us. Thank you for sharing a difficult part of your past.xoxoxoxoxox

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  5. Oh Angel, my heart aches for you. I don't know that kind of scar - my soul scars are different. Just know that God is shining through you and through these horrible times.
    Fantastic post - I'm sure it was very painful to write.

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  6. Wow, this is powerful. So much pain endured by so many people. What a hope and inspiration to see where you are now, helping others...encouraging. Praying for extra blessings in your life today after this vulnerable post!!

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  7. Powerful share Angel, thank you. As I read your story I recalled some painful moments in my life as well and though everyone's road is different pain is pain and scars are scars. You are absolutely correct on not allowing all scars to be a negative but instead a show of strength and courage. A reminder that we made it across that road and we are better for it. Much blessings and thank you again. xo

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  8. Hi Angel, oh how I wish I could give you a big hug because you are a special person and very strong and thanks for sharing a very difficult time in your past with us all.
    Julie

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  9. Your post was beautiful, soul-moving, and so truthful. It brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad you surviving through such a terrible ordeal. And the scars of our soul which we all have some - so of use just have deeper and more of them - can heal through love and finding a way to trust God and yourself enough to forgive. Forgive not for others but for your own healing. Thank for sharing your thoughts - it is something I am going through now trying to heal open wounds from the past. Visiting from Tuesday With A Twist Blog Hop.

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  10. This is such an emotionally, powerful post, Angel. Thanks for sharing, and have a blessed week.

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  11. A truly powerful post, Angel. All I can say is Wow! You are a strong and beautiful person, not because of your scars, but in spite of them. I have my own emotional and physical scars that I am working to surpass, and I pray that one day I can no longer feel so hurt by them. Wishing you the best! Hugs!

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  12. Aww I am so sorry to read your scars :( such a honest post. wishing you all the best, ((hugs)) xx

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  13. My heart aches and clenches in pain as I read this... the horrific and brutal pain you endured that leave such scars on your soul, leave me breathless and inspired at the very same time.

    I am so sorry you had such a season of suffering at the hand of another, with whom at one time you trusted with your heart. I simply can't imagine...

    This post- so powerful indeed. May God continue to nourish your soul back to health and bless you for your faithfulness!

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  14. Angel - you are so brave to tell you story so honestly . . . . but the truth is that many of us have experienced similar if not exactly the same kind of wounds. Your story has touched many hearts and given hope to those who may still be in the midst of the pain of abuse. Thank you for sharing - I look forward to visiting you again soon. Just stopping by from the Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop, and hoping to connect with you again next week. Nina @ mamas*little*treasures

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  15. Unfortunately life brings all scars rather it be physical or emotional, but some more than others. I'm sorry you had to suffer so at the hand of another. It seems you know the Savior who brings us peace, comfort, and wipes all our tears away. I pray you have found someone who loves as the princess the Father created you to be. Thank you so much for sharing your soul on Tuesdays With a Twist, were your post will be featured tomorrow morning.

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  16. Oh you sweet thing, I can not even imagine going through something like that. I sometimes wonder why I have been so blessed and have had such a wonderful life. Married to the sweetest man for 42 years. I do have a large scar on my wrist when I fell off of a neighbors porch onto a pointed metal plant stake. No scars on my heart! I am so thankful that you escaped that man and know that God loves you! Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

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  17. I am so sorry for what you have been through. You are an amazingly strong woman. This post made me think of the scars both external and internal and realize that they were a journey that led me to where I am now. Thank you for sharing.

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  18. I am so sorry for what you have been through. You are an amazingly strong woman. This post made me think of the scars both external and internal and realize that they were a journey that led me to where I am now. Thank you for sharing.

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  19. that was beautiful. sometimes scars lead us to something bigger. some of my worst times have helped me to have empathy for others and to also have the drive to become a psychologist so I can be there for others.

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  20. You are fantastic! Wow! Thanks for sharing!

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  21. I really think that if it were not for some of those scars, we would not be who we are today. We need to grow and learn from all of these things. Thank you for sharing this great article

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  22. This post gives me something to think about. Thank you very much for sharing.

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  23. very interesting review=i have a big scar

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  24. Thanks I enjoyed reading this.

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  25. This was really good to read, I am sharing it with my daughter. She is going through some hell right now that I know have scared her life.

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  26. I think we all have scars on our hearts.

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  27. I understand where you are coming from. I have things that are part of me but took place over 40 yrs ago.

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  28. Thanks for sharing we all have scars some much worse than others.

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  29. Thanks for sharing we all have scars some much worse than others.

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  30. We all have scars. They're nothing to be ashamed of. They show how far we've come <333

    Blessings,
    Edye

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  31. I have many scars from years past. I really work hard on letting the hurt go and looking forward to a better future by the things that I have learned the hard way. This article was great. Thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry for all your hurts. Keep your chin up. God has great things in store for you

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  32. You have such a powerful story!

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