You Want Cheese with that Whine

I've had friends who just sucked the life right out of me when I spent any substantial amount of time with them.  Sometimes even leaving me feeling defeated and even depressed. Remember that negative people need drama like you need oxygen.  

I read this article by Mary Merriment about what she called "energy sucking vampires".  I had never really thought of these types of individuals as vampires but when you think about it, this description fits very well.  

What about you, have you ever noticed how spending time with some people can really suck the life out of you? Chronic complainers, users, manipulators, drama addicts, bottomless emotional pits, those who expect everyone and everything to evolve around them. The bottom line is that everything is always about them and they seem to expect to be top priority in the lives of others and drain life from everyone who will allow it.

Some people function off of these negative methods as a way to fill their need for attention from others. In order to attempt to balance their own lives, they become reliant on the energy and resources of others to fill their needs. But no matter how much they may get, even if it’s to the point of draining you emotionally, physically or even financially dry, it’s never enough. They will either attempt to guilt you into giving in to them or they will seek out others who they feel they can drain life from.

Optimists will see a glass half full. Pessimists see a glass half empty. Chronic complainers see a glass that is slightly chipped holding water that isn't cold enough, probably because its tap water when I asked for bottled water and wait, there's a smudge on the rim too, which means the glass wasn't cleaned properly and now I'll probably end up with some kind of virus—why do these things always happen to me?

If you happen to spend time with someone who is an energy sucker, you may have realized how spending time with them may leave you feeling exhausted, frustrated, discontent and unproductive as you deal with them and their constant demands, negativity and problems. 
Don't let the good looks fool you, he can drain the life right out of you in no time at all.

So what do you do?  Put down some personal boundaries for yourself.  If you begin to feel energy draining, you can choose to let them know that you do not feel like participating in that discussion; redirect the conversation to something more positive; remove yourself from the discussion all together; or offer up solutions that direct them to create a better outcome for themselves. Unfortunately many of these vampires don't truly want solutions to their problems, solutions would not allow them to fulfill their need whine, manipulate and complain which is sometimes the way people function in life.  

Don't believe that accepting a person means having to accept their negative behaviors. If someone’s behaviors are directly affecting you or your life, you have every right to refuse to accept it. Resorting to people pleasing will only serve to wear you down even more over time and make you more susceptible to other energy sucking people and activities.

If all else fails consider removing yourself from the relationship all together. Keep in mind that energy sucking people will attempt to guilt you or use other tactics to pull you back in. 

Remember:  Vampires Suck!

Angel