Sunday, September 1, 2013

Angel Boy


I sometimes just sit and watch him play.  I love his smile and his laugh makes my heart sing.  When he's really into doing something he has his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth, like it won't work unless the tongue is out.   He sometimes gets the most serious look on his face, a look of total determination. 

Sometimes he'll catch me looking at him and he give me this big smile that melts my heart. Then he'll run up and hug me and I just want to cry because I know that he'll grow up so fast and I'm going to miss these hugs more than my heart can bear.  Tears roll down my cheeks as I type these words, the thought of missing even one hug is breaking my heart.  

He's our miracle boy and he's blessed all of our  lives.  I think of all those long nights in the NICU praying he'd be ok, yearning for the 5 minutes a day that I got to hold my little boy in my arms. Sitting beside his crib helplessly watching his tiny chest rise and fall, holding my breath every time an alarm went off.  All those awful wires and tubes attached to my little miracle. It's said that memories fade with time but I don't think those memories will ever fade. It feels like they are branded into my brain.  I can remember those moments like they were yesterday.  

What kind of man will he become? He's very smart and already amazes me sometimes with how fast he is developing.  The world is full of wonderful things to experience and enjoy and I want him to be blessed to march triumphantly through life not just be pulled along through it.   
I pray that he will be kind and wise; that he will be strong but gentle; loved and able to love freely.  Blessed with a life of joy, peace, love and laughter.
            

It's late at night now and he's sleeping beside me and I'm just watching him rest and listening to his breathing. I sometimes catch myself once again holding my breath to make sure I can hear him breathing. He's lost in peaceful dreams now, without a care in the world.  Hopefully dreaming of puppies or the moon that he loves so much to look at.  I lie here in the dark and wonder if he knows how much I love him. Will he ever doubt the way I feel about him in my heart. I make a promise to myself to tell him each day how much he means to me.  I don't ever want him to wonder " does mommy love me". 

Does your angel know how much you love them?

Angel



21 comments:

  1. It's wonderful that you are cherishing every moment with him.

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    1. He's my little man. My husband says I replaced him with a younger man, lol. So true.
      Angel

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  2. Such a beautiful child. You are definitely blessed. :)

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  3. What a beautiful post. After long stretches with a preemie, being able to hold and watch is such a blessing:)

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    1. Lots of long nights. So glad when they ended. I can't tell you how good it was to just sit and hold him as long as I wanted.
      thanks for visiting with me Seana.
      Angel

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  4. Replies
    1. He's my little cutie.
      thanks for visiting with me Yuen
      Angel

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    1. Thanks Janelle
      Great to have you visit with me.
      Angel

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  6. He looks like such a sweet little boy! Watching the little ones sleep is one of the greatest gifts ever!

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    1. So true. I love their peaceful faces. Thanks for visiting with me.
      Angel

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  7. Hola Angel!
    Your little boy is lucky to have you as his mommy, I am sure he knows how much he is loved. Beautiful post Angel. Thanks for linking up.

    ~SimplyyMayra :)

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    1. Thanks for visiting with me Mayra. I love linking up at your hop.
      Angel

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  8. Replies
    1. Thank you Andi. So good to ave you visit with me today.
      Angel

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  9. Anyone reading this post can tell your adoring love for him. Such a lucky man to have you as his mommy.

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.com

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  10. My angels do all know how much they are loved, and I am pretty positive from the post you've just made, that your son knows too. :)

    We have a lot of blessings, I'm convinced children are at the very top of that list. :)

    Thank you sharing your beautiful post, and for linking up to Super Sunday Sync.

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    1. Thanks Rosey
      Great to have you visit with me today.
      Angel

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