If I Had It To Do Over

If, for you, tomorrow never comes will the people who care about know how much you love them? 

Todays lifestyles are so frantic that all the wonderful moments that should be savored are blurred out. But although we are often unable to enjoy them through force of habit, do not doubt that they're there. We can't change the things whizzing past us and all around us, but we can stop ourselves from being sucked into the gray void. Press the pause button, focus on the present, moment by moment. 

Think for a moment about your daily life. How does your day start and how does it end?   I'm at the computer with a mug of coffee when my husband leaves for work. He kisses my cheek and I say a quick "bye"  and he's out the door. I haven't truly been aware of his presence in the room with me.  My mind is racing through my day.

I scan the headlines for the days latest happenings. Then on to the e-mails that have multiplied overnight. Then I glance out the window and see him climbing into the car and I realize there's something missing. And what's missing is me -- my attention, my presence, my here-and-now connection with the person I'm spending my life with.  Then I think to myself "I have so many important things I have to do today.  I'll pay more attention to him tomorrow morning"

It's the fallout of modern life: hurrying, multitasking and, ironically, making connections so constantly that we don't realize how disconnected we've become.  The next time you go out to eat watch how many people are text-messaging during their dinner dates. What are they doing? Setting up the next dinner date? Is there a perfect future dinner date that it's all leading up to, therefore this one is not important? I don't think so.

"We need to slow down and pay attention to what we're experiencing, while we're experiencing it. However frantic or distracted you may feel, remind yourself that this is it, there are no "do overs". You're playing a game with your kids; you're eating breakfast with your husband; you're walking home through the summer twilight; you're washing dishes at the sink. Your life is really only a series of these very moments, and to hurry through them on autopilot means you're in danger of missing the whole thing.

If you're zipping along through life -- its daily tasks and troubles -- to get to the next thing, ask yourself what that next thing is. Tomorrow's daily tasks and troubles? Next year's? Death? Your life is happening right now. It's sorting the laundry, looking for your keys, getting the kids to school. You need to really be there for the day-to-day activities.  Quit waiting for the good times to come and seize the moment -- this one.  You're not guaranteed a tomorrow but you have the present.

Engage fully in what you're doing while you're doing it -- regardless of what it is. Multitasking doesn't make anything go faster, but it can make things more confusing. I try to remember this when my mind is racing while I'm putting my children to bed. Making mental to-do lists while reading Winnie the Pooh means I'm not doing either with my full attention. The to-do lists will wait but this moment of sleepy won't and I can never get this moment back.

    

In our world of instant messaging and microwave society that can't wait 60 seconds, it can be hard to remember to focus on the journey as well as the destination. It's hard to be present at the dinner table if your IM alert is calling you. Make rules for yourself about cell phone or BlackBerry use and stick with them, whether it's not texting people during your kid's soccer game or not taking calls during your family's weekly movie night.  When you are with the ones you love, actually Be with them. When life is over, they will be the part of your life that truly mattered.

It's hard to remain focused on the moment when you feel like you've got to just race through the difficult stuff, but the difficult stuff is an invitation to be present. The next time you find yourself stuck in traffic or a huge line at the grocery store behind the person with 21 items, breathe deeply and smile. Your heart is beating and you're alive -- gifts that are easy to take for granted when things aren't going the way you need them to. If you're always wanting what you don't have, always wishing for more or different or anywhere but here, it's time to reevaluate. Easier said than done, sure.  Get back to what matters: the people you love, meaningful relationships, a grateful attitude.  Get back to what truly matters if "tomorrow never comes".

Will they know how much you love them?

Angel

(exerts from article by Catherine Newman that I felt truly needed to be shared)
(photos from Pinterest)