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Monday, September 23, 2013

You Want Cheese with that Whine

I've had friends who just sucked the life right out of me when I spent any substantial amount of time with them.  Sometimes even leaving me feeling defeated and even depressed. Remember that negative people need drama like you need oxygen.  

I read this article by Mary Merriment about what she called "energy sucking vampires".  I had never really thought of these types of individuals as vampires but when you think about it, this description fits very well.  

What about you, have you ever noticed how spending time with some people can really suck the life out of you? Chronic complainers, users, manipulators, drama addicts, bottomless emotional pits, those who expect everyone and everything to evolve around them. The bottom line is that everything is always about them and they seem to expect to be top priority in the lives of others and drain life from everyone who will allow it.

Most people do not realize that as they continue to find things to complain about, they disallow their own physical well-being. Many do not realize that before they were complaining about an aching body or a chronic disease, they were complaining about many other things first. It does not matter if the object of your complaint is about someone you are angry with, behavior in others that you believe is wrong, or something wrong with your own physical body. Complaining disallows improvement.

Some people function off of these negative methods as a way to fill their need for attention from others. In order to attempt to balance their own lives, they become reliant on the energy and resources of others to fill their needs. But no matter how much they may get, even if it’s to the point of draining you emotionally, physically or even financially dry, it’s never enough. They will either attempt to guilt you into giving in to them or they will seek out others who they feel they can drain life from.

Optimists will see a glass half fullPessimists see a glass half emptyChronic complainers see a glass that is slightly chipped holding water that isn't cold enough, probably because its tap water when I asked for bottled water and wait, there's a smudge on the rim too, which means the glass wasn't cleaned properly and now I'll probably end up with some kind of virus—why do these things always happen to me?

If you happen to spend time with someone who is an energy sucker, you may have realized how spending time with them may leave you feeling exhausted, frustrated, discontent and unproductive as you deal with them and their constant demands, negativity and problems. 
Don't let the good looks fool you, he can drain the life right out of you in no time at all.
Vampires <3

So what do you do?  Put down some personal boundaries for yourself.  If you begin to feel energy draining, you can choose to let them know that you do not feel like participating in that discussion; redirect the conversation to something more positive; remove yourself from the discussion all together; or offer up solutions that direct them to create a better outcome for themselves. Unfortunately many of these vampires don't truly want solutions to their problems, solutions would not allow them to fulfill their need whine, manipulate and complain which is sometimes the way people function in life.  

Don't believe that accepting a person means having to accept their negative behaviors. If someone’s behaviors are directly affecting you or your life, you have every right to refuse to accept it. Resorting to people pleasing will only serve to wear you down even more over time and make you more susceptible to other energy sucking people and activities.

If all else fails consider removing yourself from the relationship all together. Keep in mind that energy sucking people will attempt to guilt you or use other tactics to pull you back in. 

Remember:  Vampires Suck!

Angel





35 comments:

  1. Excellent points Angel ... It is so hard to be around those that constantly make you feel depressed. I make it a point that if I get too down myself I usually stay away from everyone -- that way I don't drag anyone down.

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.com

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    1. Hi Lanaya
      If I feel down I try to stay away from people too. Great to see you. Thanks for spending time with me.
      Angel

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  2. Great post love this!

    AmeriAus Blog

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    1. Thanks. I appreciate you spending time at my blog and reading my post.
      Angel

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  3. Those types of people sound all too familiar! It's so hard to detach from them because they're also the type to tell others how horrible you are for not helping them self pity, but it's so necessary for your own well being to step away sometimes.

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    1. Unfortunately misery does love company. Sometimes you just have to think of yourself and get away from that particular person who just wears you down.
      Thanks so much for visiting with me. Great to have you here.
      Angel

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  4. Oh, so true! I read a book by Beth Moore a few years ago called Get Out of That Pit, having to do with these type of people and relationships and now I don't feel guilty walking away! Great post!

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    1. I unfortunately still feel guilty but I've learned that I have to walk away for my own sanity. I like seeing my glass as half full. Thanks for spending time with me
      Angel

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  5. So true! The more I'm around people like that, the more I want to make sure that I don't become that. We took this personality survey at work and according to that (which it was very accurate), I'm usually the person that people come to with all their problems and I stop what I'm doing and listen. Not bad, if it doesn't get out of hand. I just have to make sure that when I'm in one of those "moods" that doesn't go away by the end of the day, that I don't unload like that on my dear friends because they too will grow tired of it. (BTW, when I'm usually feeling like that I stay to myself.)

    Thanks for sharing!

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    1. You really do start to become like those you spend a lot of time with. Sometimes you just have to make new friends for your own sake
      Angel

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  6. Awesome! Love this! Lord help me not to be a whiner :(

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    1. I feel the same. Thanks for visiting with me.
      Angel

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  7. Love this post! So true! It seems like there is always that one friend....or someone.....who is always "complaining" or acting like a victim...and it does truly suck the life out of you if you don't keep your boundaries! :)

    Melissa Kaylene

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    1. I've learned this lesson the hard way, more than once. My husband says I walk around with rose colored glasses on, sometimes he tells me to take them off and clean them, lol. Thanks for spending time with me.
      Angel

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  8. Oh how true is that !!! I know a couple of these and you are soooooo right !!

    IKE xx

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    1. Thanks for visiting with me. I appreciate having you.
      Angel

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  9. I'm laughing about your "glass" metaphor... too funny.

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    1. It's sad but all to true. Thanks for visiting with me.
      Angel

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  10. Great post! You're right on many counts!

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    1. Thanks Yuen. It's great to have you visiting me again. I'm very glad we've met.
      Angel

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  11. Oh over the last few years, I've weeded these people out of my life. I realized I had a lot of them! I was a great listener and these people liked to talk. Life is a lot moee peaceful now. And you are so right about them not wanting solutions, plenty of viable options only to complain how they're stuck!

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    1. It's a sad truth. You can't help someone that doesn't really want to be helped.
      Great to have you visit with me April.
      Angel

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  12. Hahahahaha -great points. My husband is obsessed with all things vampire and I tell them that they suck all the time. I don't think he gets it, though.

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  13. I know someone just like this, although I can't mention names lol.
    Thanks for stopping by for WW :)

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  14. Yes, yes, yes, yes, and did I say yes? LOL Thanks for clarifying something I've been mulling over for a while now. You've been a blessing to me today with this post!

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    1. I hear you. Sometimes you've just got to take care of you. I'm glad the post has been of help to you.
      Angel

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  15. Nail on the head with a big ole hammer Angel! I have had a few life suckers in my life and have learned to either cut ties or lay down the law with them. I am too old to put up with their soul draining drama anymore! Thanks for sharing this at the party this week! I am featuring this on my Facebook page and pinning this to the You’re Gonna Love It Tuesday board on Pinterest :-)

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  16. Great reminders! Thank you for sharing with the Clever Chicks Blog Hop!

    Cheers,
    Kathy Shea Mormino
    The Chicken Chick
    http://www.The-Chicken-Chick.com

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  17. There is a book about this called Emotional Vampires. Well, we just have to bring up our fence and not let them suck our bloods. lol. I'm coming from the Raising Imperfection Sunday Link. Hugs from Pink Heart String!

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  18. Great post! A really great post! I agree with you on every point. Especially the boundaries. I have mine! I'm all about being there for someone but I have a limit and I make sure everyone knows what it is so not many people whine to me. They catch on fairly quickly that I might just raise an eyebrow, turn around, and walk away. I popped in from Raising Imperfection and really glad I did!

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  19. Great post, Angel! Not only do we need to be aware of our energy draining, it's a nice reminder to not be the vampire! ;-) -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

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  20. LOL at your closing line. :)

    We all know people just like that, and a few years back I'd have let that stuff bother me, but now a days, I just steer clear as best I can. It makes a world of difference.

    I'm visiting today from Raising Imperfection. :)

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  21. Oh, girl do I have a couple of friends that suck the energy from me. I just try to spend time with them when I have the energy to do it. And then go and spend some time with individuals who really don't take a lot of energy.

    Heidi’s Wanderings

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  22. Great post! Thank you for sharing at Tuesdays with a Twist! We're live again this week. Come on over and share what you've been working on!

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