The Balancing Act After “I Do”

My little sister got married this past weekend and at the ceremony, the pastor said marriage does not come with an instructor’s manual.  How easy would that be?  I think we would all be racing to the stores to buy this more than the latest iPhone!   The reasoning behind not having an instructor’s manual, is because every marriage is different.  Each individual person comes to the table with their own gifts and struggles.  Marriage is a beautiful partnership but the thing that many people miss is that it is indeed work. 

We grow up thinking of the big, white wedding dress and the prince coming in on his horse and riding off into the sunset.  In order to make this fairy tale a reality, it takes work getting to know what your prince likes and dislikes, and also him knowing what you like and dislike.  Sometimes learning this balance and being willing to negotiate or meet in the middle is not what people signed up for.  This may be the reason why half our nation is divorced.

I am a child of divorce so I know a little bit on this subject.  My parents, despite their best efforts could not make their marriage work.  It wasn’t due to a lack of love but just two people traveling on different paths, that didn’t want to meet in the middle. That’s how easy love can get lost.

The best thing you can do in a marriage, whether you are newlyweds, engaged, or have been married half your life already, is entrust your marriage to the Lord.  It is never too late or early to do this.  Prayer is powerful.  In these verses, it describes that the wife is protected by the husband, and the husband is protected by God.    

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” Ephesians 5:22-23.

There is a holy union formed when husband and wife marry.  They are dedicating themselves not only to each other, but also to God.  This should be the first layer of a marriage is God and then each other. 

My husband and I were high school sweethearts who separated during college.  We remained friends but we both knew we were headed in different directions.  It was a few years later, but we reconnected and we were soon married.

After the birth of our second child, I felt called to attend church more and to learn the knowledge of the Word that I had missed as a child.  My husband, who grew up in the church, had this head knowledge so he didn’t feel as called to be there.  This was the hardest year out of our marriage. 

Through entrusting my marriage on the Lord and praying relentlessly for not only our marriage but family, my husband came around to not only wanting to go to church, but he also rededicated his life to the Lord.  He is also now in the process of studying to become a pastor or missionary.  This is something that not even in my wildest dreams I could think of, but this just goes to show you the power or prayer.

No matter what your marriage is going through, keep faith in God. 

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Romans 8:28

What are some things that you do to keep your spouse happy, or things that your spouse does to make you happy?